That's a bunch of Fucking Bullshit

In 22 episodes, they will explain:
1.) Whether the Gods or God really exist, and what relationship they have with humans/cylons
2.) How the fuck the cylons evolved
3.) Where the fuck they've been
4.) who the fuck are the remaining cylons
5.) what the fuck happened to starbuck
6.) who the fuck did 6 meet on Caprica before the attack
7.) how fucking cool can Gaius Fucking Baltar be
8.) the fucking babies and all the fucking bullshit
9.) is earth before Kobol, or is earth the 13th fucking colony
10.) the fuck happened with Xena
11.) who's running the goddamn fucking show
12.) how many female leads will Lee fuck
13.) how many people is Adama going to murderdeathkill when Lee dies
14.) Will Adama and Tye finally consecrate their love physically, "fuck each other"
15.) is chief a fucking cylon or a human priest
16.) is Callie a cylon who hates boomer cuz she loves chief and so when they fuck, since they're both cylon/human freaks or whatever, their spines don't glow and now they just had a regular cylon baby who will do fucking battle with Helo's superman baby and
whoa. girl just walked by with enormous goddamn tits. holy shit.
17.) mju mju mju mjuju nyhugyugafseygtb ijure
18.) typed that out with my dick, bam bam bam!
19.) earth at the end of season three looked like the earth from Star Trek: First Contact, when the Borg go back in time and assimilate the earth and so now the whole place looks like it's made out of erector sets; is that what fucking happened?
20.) or is Jimmy Fucking Hendrix the god of this universe and came up with this whole story and made it happen cuz he's obviously a goddamn Love Wizard on Angel Acid who drinks the blood of stars and plays a guitar that's lightyears across and only makes sounds like that fucking unbelievable shit from Creep by Radiohead except when you hear Jimmy play it, a supernova immediately explodes your cock? and that's why they all know the song, cuz it's his universe?
21.) Fuck them and you for ending the show. that's like a Big Question answered every episode, sans bitchin space fights.
22.) Can I Fucking Get Bill Fucking Adama in a Fucking Raptor Fucking Cylons up? Please?